Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Is He Really The One?

Whether or not your partner is right for you is one of the mostimportant decisions of your life. Your entire future depends on thesechoices so how can you be sure you have the picked the right one?Well, the first thing you need to do is honestly ask yourself why youlove or are in love with your partner? You would be surprised at theanswers you hear when you ask that same question to your friends.The wrong answers to that question include the following:Because they love me.It's better than being alone.I don't want to hurt them.Because I am not sure I would find someone better.These answers indicate a relationship built upon fear, insecurity andpity.There are good matches out there, but if there are too many ifs, andsor buts, then sooner or later the relationship will fail. Now thatdoesn't mean you will break up, you could stay together for the restof your lives and still fail as a couple.So the question still remains, how do you choose the right partner?Obviously you are going to choose a partner that you are physicallyattracted to. Apart from that aspect, there are a few important areasyou should look at:Communication Level-When you talk to them, are they on the same levelas you? How long does it take them to answer your question? Do you getbored because they answer everything else under the sun rather thanthe question you asked or do you enjoy the tangents they take you on?Do they speak very slowly compared to you? Do they understand youwhen you speak? Can you really talk to them about absolutely anything?This may not seem important now but could you imagine living withsomeone for the next 50 - 70 years that can never answer a directquestion, frustrates you to no end by their speed of communication andjust doesn't get it when you are trying to explain something to them?Common Interests-This is really a given. You have to have something incommon with them to be able to be with them. Otherwise you will havenothing to talk about and nothing to do together. Yes, physically youmay have great sex,but how far can that really take you? When twopeople have different interests, one person usually ends upsacrificing their desires for the other person... or you end up livingcompletely separate lives.Ambitions-Do you both want the same things in life or are they goingto hold you back? Are they willing to let you have that career youhave always wanted. Even if it means working long hours plus going toschool at night?Ethics Level-Do they have the same values as you? Would they feeltotally OK doing something that you would have strong objections toor vice versa? Do you have the same beliefs on major issues such asreligion, prejudice, raising children etc? If not, is this somethingthat will become a problem in the future?Grooming and Cleanliness- Are they a slob and you the type of personthat likes to keep the house immaculate? Do you take the same level ofcare of your appearance?There is a lot of false information about relationships out there. Oneof the biggest lies is that opposites attract. That is really just amyth. Now a lot of the things listed above do come down to personalchoice.It comes down to what you are and are not willing to accept. Justbecause you have fallen in love with someone does not mean that theyare the righT one for you. The number of people in physically oremotionally abusive relationships should be testament enough to that.One thing is for sure. Do not settle for something less than you wantbecause you are scared of hurting them, being alone or you feel thismight be the best you can get.You never know what you might have missed that was right around thecorner.Settling is always settling, no matter what way you look at itBy doing so, you will be left with a lifetime of what ifs.love doesn't ask "why?" for it is a reason itself... love doesn't ask"what if?" for it is willing to risk all...love doesn't ask "untilwhen?" for it knows only forever...